My younger sister and I are woken up by my mother with the words, “Get up quietly and pack all the things you need in a suitcase."

At first, my sister and I did not understand what was happening, and I could not even think that a war had begun. Of course, there were already rumours about the beginning of war all over the country. However, until the time before the war actually started, no one truly believed this was possible in the current world, but it still happened...

Not in doubt, the full-scale invasion changed my life and the lives of all Ukrainians. While packing suitcases and preparing the documents, to make sure the leave was successful, my Dad decided to go and withdraw some money from the bank since the card might not work. I wished he would be safe on the way to the bank, but things were always not as fortunate as we wanted. 

20 minutes after Dad left, they started bombing in his direction. Mom immediately started calling Dad, but he was out of reach.

Why did not he answer the call? Was it because he was bombed with the building near? Or we just lost the connection? 

I was deeply shocked and in guilt. I should have stopped him! That was the first time I understood how it is when death stares my family and me in the eye. 

Fortunately, Dad finally picked up the phone, and he was able to return home alive without any hurt. After that, we decided to leave the city or even the country. The problem was that the highways were constantly being bombed, and there was a curfew during which it was impossible to leave the house. In addition, since we lived in the capital of Ukraine - Kyiv, there was traffic on the way out of the city where people stood for 9-13 hours, and there was no gas left at the gas stations; we had only one attempt to leave. Therefore, after assessing the situation, we decided to spend the night at home. 

The next day, we learned that in such towns as Irpin and Bucha, located near Kyiv, a landing force of Russian troops was landed, who did terrible things. 

Bucha men and women

They gathered almost all of the men in schools and shot them. Dozens of women were raped in front of their children, and then the children were raped in front of their mothers, after which they were usually killed.

Those who survived left the city on foot because all exits were bombed. They had neither water nor food, so in order to survive, they drank water from puddles. After learning about this, we were already going to leave, but my Dad, who is almost never sick (and even when he is sick, he gets up and does what is necessary), sits on a chair and says that he cannot get up. Therefore, we decided to stay home for one more night and leave the following day as soon as the curfew ended.

On the third day, we saw how almost all exits from the city were closed, leaving only Bucha, Irpen and one more road. Unfortunately, we did not yet know what nightmares awaited us ahead. We left the house and tried to leave that road as soon as the curfew was over. Unfortunately, it was blocked, so we turned onto another road that led through the forest. 

After crossing the forest, when I thought everything would be optimistic, we were stopped by a Russian soldier. Through the windows, we saw another 15-20 Russian soldiers with rifles hiding behind the trees and aiming at us. 

The man who stopped us asked us to open the window of our car. I wished I did not have to open the window, but we had to. I saw his rifle; that was the first time I had seen a rifle in my lifetime. He removed the safety of his gun, climbed into the window, and aimed at my sister and I: “I need your documents.” 

My parents carefully gave him the documents with their trembling hands. 

“Why do you leave?” Asked by the Russian soldier. 

That was such a sarcastic question. 

Everything that happened then happened as if in a fog. I did not know how, but the soldiers still let us go. I did not know if I should appreciate him for our leave or hate him for killing other Ukrainians. 

Then we drove without navigators, just somewhere far away. We passed a large bridge, after which, just a few minutes later, it was blown up. 

Having calmed down a little but not suspecting anything, we drove on; the road was a cart where only one car could pass, and then we saw the Russian military coming towards us without even thinking to stop. Suddenly, we saw a small exit in front of us, so we quickly drove there, thus saving ourselves from the military march. 

Having arrived in western Ukraine, we decided to leave the country. That was a very heartbreaking decision. I love my country, but I had to escape as a refugee. My friends and my family all lived in Ukraine. Until now, I still do not know if I will see them in Ukraine anymore, as we all went to different countries. 

I wish the war had never happened. If the war never happened, I must be sitting with my family and my friends, enjoying those happy times. It is just that there is no “if” in life. 

PS: The reason why my Dad did not join the army was because of his poor vision. He has a vision of -16, and he has the issued document that he is not suitable for acceptance by the army.